Whoo-hoo! It’s Friday..day five of the “10 Day Writing Challenge”. It is also my normal Five Minute Friday Post. I always seem to learn things when I participate in writing challenges. I’ve decided…writing daily challenges way more than your writing skills.
Consistency has a price tag.
Today’s word is Table.
Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the release of my book, The Distracted Dance of Resilience. I remember feeling exhilarated, exhausted, timid, yet faith-filled.
God did some amazing things with the tangle of words He gave me to write. The Distracted Dance of Resilience debuted at the top of the Amazon new release charts.
I sat around tables of beautiful women discussing my book and hard topics like betrayal and forgiveness.
Over the summer, I attended a Christian Women’s Conference where I was able to present The Distracted Dance of Resilience to actual book publishers. (I self-published). With business cards, bio sheets, book proposals, and actual books in hand, I felt nervous but confident in the words God gave me to write.
My confidence packed her bags and left the conference five minutes into my first publisher appointment. The words, “not enough social media followers” and “contact me when you have sold over 2500 books and have multi-state speaking engagements” pierced my soul. The other appointments were very pleasant but a strong “no” wafted through the air.
So, I smiled, met some amazing women, and enjoyed the speakers. When the conference was over, I drove home in a blur of tears. Then, I put my book on a table in my office and moved on with life.
I have hardly mentioned my book to anyone since the conference.
The anniversary of the book release totally slipped my mind. One of my friends tagged me in a “congratulations” post yesterday and it jogged my memory.
How did I go from sharing my book around tables of women to allowing my book to collect dust on a table in my office?
Here is the answer to that question:
When the publishers said no, I decided that meant the words I wrote were not good enough.
I decided. I didn’t ask God.
In my own logical thinking…if the book was really good, the publishers would have wanted it…right?
Maybe, but none of them even read the book or the proposal.
I didn’t ask the one who gave me the words in the first place.
I “tabled” my book.
“What have you done?” asked Samuel. “Saul replied, “When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Mikmash, I thought, ‘Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the Lord’s favor.’ So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering.” 1 Samuel 13:11-12
Just like Saul, when opposition arose, I became afraid God would not come through. So I felt compelled to stop promoting my book.
My LORD..please forgive me and direct me in where you want me to go with The Distracted Dance of Resilience and my life.
Have you ever felt compelled to “table” something without consulting God?
Yes, I have put hope aside,
and let it languish in the dust;
born of fear and born of pride,
I walked away, I thought I must
kowtow to the fearsome powers
that conspired to ruin me
though I hid in lofty tower;
and so, I chose servility,
to bow and scrape to mine own fate,
beg indulgence from a heart of stone
until the hour was too late;
for my lack of faith I now atone
by knowing that I could have saved
my ministry, had I been brave.
The ‘lofty tower’ reference is from Qu’ran 4:78, “Wherever you are, death will find you, even if you are in lofty towers”
Woooooow..”for my lack of faith I now atone
by knowing that I could have saved
my ministry, had I been brave.” -deep. Thank you Andrew for keeping me thinking!
You have no idea how many you’ve inspired, helped find their way out of the miry clay, empowered to believe again and to take the first steps towards healing and wholeness as they “dance resiliently into freedom” from past hurts and pains of bad relationships and into God’s grace. I thank God for you and celebrate your gift as do soooooo many others! I thank God for the words He gave you for us and the world. Can’t wait to hear about the thousands around the tables who join us in the dance!!! So proud of you for getting back up again and taking your stand in ministry. The world awaits to dance with you Katina!!
wow, Katina! So glad that you shared the story about sharing your story…again. Congratulations on the noted achievement, and I celebrate with you for embracing the risk to trust and believe God for His purpose, even when you experienced rejection. This post resonates with me on significant levels. I look forward to reading more of your writing on FMF. Thanks!
Aww thanks for stopping by! So glad this post spoke to you…TO GOD BE THE GLORY!
Ah, yes hard to admit, the many times I’d rather stay hopeless than, hope again. Curiously ‘Freedom’ is a word that came to ne in my personal quiet time….and I wondered when I’d be free of illness, hurt, rejection, political agenda, fatigue, waiting…. thankyou for a Divine reminder here…
Ah yes Freedom! I pray you hear from the Lord! Thanks for stopping by.
Thankyou for a divine reminder here today, it must be from God!😇
I’m in this fight or flight season right now… Thank you for the reminder that I can’t allow others actions sway me from what God has promised me!! 💜